fluff

all over the place. just like life. pretty much.

forgive me father mother sister brother lover teacher

sweet pal o’ mine, for I have sinned. ‘course, like, who hasn’t, eh? name o’ the friggin’ game. but I do have a personal history that involves forgetting my place in the universe more often, thru more decades, than most reasonable folks can claim.  each time, when focus returns, I’m a little ahead of, a bit more knowledgeable than when I got distracted.  and I maintain for awhile, manage to follow this not all that rigorous religious-like path, reaping little rewards, celebrating those, until…  until, you know, as ever, comes the distraction, and the desperate forgetting.  usually has something to do with the coochie.  usually.  pretty much always.  my god, the coochie told me so herself, once.  and i proceeded to.  of course.

not makin’ much, if any, sense so far, is it?  would you like a visual of some sort break up the motionless ramble?  me too.

hummer humming

above, yes, we’ve seen this before.  still a bad foto.  oh well.   below, during the hot days of summer they spent much time up there in the shade (more shady than appears)  gaily chirping between occasional mad passionate couples flight.

hummer resting

pretty sure I saw a fledgeling from one nest.  once.  tee(ee)ny tiny.

010410

ok, this has prolly been sitting around as draft going nowhere for long enuf.  you think?  time to post it or toss it and move on to now.  so…post. for whatever it’s worth.  we’ll be back in a quick bit then, with something completely different pretty much the same, except…  well, whatever, stay happy.

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January 4, 2010 Posted by | artnlifenstuff, god and such, las vegas, nature thingies, wildlife | 1 Comment

from then to now and back again. or

may be it’d be of interest to insert a bitty review/update on the whereabouts and whatof  of the life of kim?   oh.  well, we’ll  do it anyway.    try.  like…

011408…entered hospital, complications of pneumonia.   and maybe other stuff.  stayed 7 days.  quit smoking.  remained smoke free while living in a house that resembled less a home, more the drunk tank.  noticed that many foods seemed less desirable.  still excruciating pain preventing, most days, walks of more than a block or two.  um, usually less.  and not showing up here often with anything to say, or the ability to say it.

070108…awoke, on moving day, feeling not all that well.  managed the move, though, to a more pleasant, more private situation, still smoke free, nearly drunk and druggie free.  though not quite.  continued pain issues.  still feeling, through the month, not all that well.  often unable to keep food down, resulting in late month trips to the er.

080108…or maybe the day before.  not sure.  but, what the previous post was intended to be about.  more or less routine trip to my doctor’s office resulted in emergency trip to hospital, where the kidneys were quick pumped back into operating mode and the frequent hurl issue was apparently, if mysteriously, resolved.

080408…left hospital, returned home, to prepare for the soon to come, finally, spine surgery.  i can eat and drink normally now.  more or less.  stuff stays down.  but  it’s less interesting.  which is ok.  there’s far too much of me already, what with years now of lack of effective exercise.

080808…the spine surgery.  more than had been planned.  the lower three vertabrae are now one, with also lots of cutting and scraping and rebuilding and four screws.  medium sized.   and pain.  and strength and balance issues.  ya know, i really had expected this would be an overnight in the hospital, then home.  really.  had.  it became four nights, in  bed.   followed by two weeks and a few days in rehab hospital, learning to stand, walk, fall, get up again.   way slow ordeal.  lost 25 pounds of ugly fat though.  mostly fat.  in the first week.

022009…you wouldn’t wanna hear the words i’m thinkin’ right now.  just lost half the words i’d managed to force out three days ago.  so.  here’s this.  the fun part still lies ahead somewhere, even beyond what i’d completed.  more later.  maybe soon

February 20, 2009 Posted by | las vegas, me | 2 Comments

been long enuf now it seems (seems) safe to say

bob and heidi left a week ago.  i’m still here.  sometimes bein’ wrong is pretty much ok.  along w the good stuff, however, can’t seem to get rid of those damned zombies.  though i’ve set a little bit of common sense and self containment and control into the (mind? is that the right concept here?)  of one of the everdrunk zombies.  can’t, however, seem to gain any success re the tooth grinder who also, quite frighteningly, imagines that she can sing.                                                                                            anyway,  i’m still here.  at least, seems so.

March 16, 2008 Posted by | artnlifenstuff, las vegas, me, zombies | Leave a comment

minor bits of detail catch up. maybe.

so. january 14 thru 20 were spent, mostly, in valley hospital, which seems to be the worst of this town’s hospitals. wish i had access to the writing skills it deserves. the first two and a half days were spent in the emergency room, on a gurney. then half day on a bed. it got a bit better after that, and anyway the actual abuse ended after the second day. not sure i f anyone’s sure why i was there at all. and we’re not gonna do major detail here. the discharge papers say pneumonia, and there was that, bigtime. but i’m way fuzzy (i remember lying in bed, with the chills, for a long time, unable to move). the rest is also bits and disconnected pieces. i may have tripped and fallen, dunno, the first two hospital days i was, oh, not quite right. way more than usual. enough that i worried …well, you know. i dunno. anyway, no, no stroke, no seizure, no concussion, apparently. they did masses of x-rays and cat scans and even mri at both ends of the spine. so, anyway. it may be pretty strong and healthy in he middle parts. may be. but then ag’in, the back surgeon/diseases of the spine dude has seen those pics and he says my back is totally royally screwed up. but recoverable. somewhat. without surgery. which is good. last couple days tho… and of course, there were those seven days in the smoke-free zone. and iv morphine. much better than nicotine patches.

bobtbd9250.jpg bobtbd9252.jpg bobtbd9315.jpg grackle260-9590.jpg

so, we can all easily see what i should/ must do, the only, of course, honorable thing to do, as much as i run my mouth at other people, whining about the importance of correct color. eventually. for now, just imagine that they all look as right as the last one..bit less green maybe. bit. maybe.

February 24, 2008 Posted by | las vegas, me, wildlife | 1 Comment

a funny thing happened on my way to the trainwreck.

maybe 2moro. for now i’m tired and spaced. here, try these.

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anyway, said trainwreck seems to have been cancelled. so it sometimes goes. g’nitie.

January 20, 2008 Posted by | artnlifenstuff, god and such, las vegas, me, nature thingies, pancho, wild life, wildlife | 2 Comments

bob on a branch, briefly

been a bit breezy here lately.

[blip.tv ?posts_id=541556&dest=-1]

*

bob on a quest. if you’ve been around me for awhile, i’m sure you’ll recognize the concept.

[blip.tv ?posts_id=541563&dest=-1]

*

and 1 (one) more thought thingi.

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something to sleep on, so to speak.

December 11, 2007 Posted by | artnlifenstuff, las vegas, me, nature thingies, wildlife | Leave a comment

jus’ to say he was here

it’s a strange moment. a hard to explain strange moment. much to do. much desire to do much. as ever. but so little energy and so much drain. so little mental clarity and so much drain. as has become the current constant state.

but, how to say, expectation of accomplishment of something is running way high. based on nothing rational that i can see. just desperation, maybe.

anywayshow, (huh, forgot what i was gonna say, remembered, forgot…) oh, got project concepts in my head, and on bits n scraps of paper. some musical, which leads to this video bit which is spazzed beyond… beyondness…but that’s ok cos i really just wanna use the sound. usta know how to strip that out. prolly can figure it out again. prolly. sometime. somehow.

[blip.tv ?posts_id=537323&dest=-1]

so, ok,, i was here, i dropped this little vid thing which hopefully will load n play for whoever might wander by. soon. nitie now.

December 10, 2007 Posted by | artnlifenstuff, las vegas, me, nature thingies, wild life | 2 Comments

this will ramble

’cause i’m not near ready. but it needs to be done.

if i had the local human resources i could face to face on the issues of the moment in my life if i could get around as well as a year ago, i could sort thru stuff, organize, so to speak, more or less,, my mental files, discarding the duplicates and the garbage and come to this page with that something resembling a reasonable facsimilile of coherence and order but …. i know two, maybe three people here who could serve this need fairly well. one has his own legitimate concerns which causes him to have fear of getting too close to my concerns. which concerns he has total misconception about. but he’s cool. prolly saved my life, so i can’t complain. another is just too massively thinly spread out with her own projects. and the answer to a prayer girl is, um, well… she does have good days….haven’t seen her for awhile though.

so.

some days later.

10.50pm. i have social security hearing at 9:15am tomorrow. that meeans up at 6 and pray i can get semi-functional by the time my ride gets here at, we hope, 8:30. this is a first judicial hearing on my first appeal of the claim that i made two years ago last july. i have a bit of new info since then, we’ll see what happens with it all.

if yer in the u s of a yer listenin’ to slacker .com, right? why not?

ok, so divin’ right in. i wanted to do a long, clear, detailed, witty post here but it doesn’t seem to be coming so we’ll do a just the facts, maybe, mostly.

i haven’t been well since i got here. slightly misleading statement, but what i told myself for several months. i haven’t been well since…well, there’s a question there. but things (hah, things! my body and brain.) took a bit of a large turn for the worse last october. there’s tradition to that. we’ll get to it. anyway, this happened about the same time i made the decision that i’d move here in december. acknowledging what was going on would have suggested that moving, at that time, was unwise. so i did the denial thing. i have lots of forced practice, going back more than 50 years.

that history, what i can recall of, goes back to 7th grade, 1955. that was my first experience of functional stupidity. if i could remember how i’d put a subscript “tm” on that. maybe later. just ecstatic right now that i could remember the word. i had to work, though, to pull up ecstatic. which reminded me that, just before the recent browser crash, i had been thinking of using “rapturous” at tbd.com. you’re there right? why not? social networking for adults, they say. some good people there (me for one), and it might turn into as cool a product as they say. one problem they have right now is some really unfortunate limits on image posting size and format.

also, i’m thinkin’ that wordpress.com may be as big a piece of crap as blogger. may be.

but, we were at “functional stupidity”, right? which is different from the stupid behavior that comes out of my idiot housemates. can’t deal w any more o that right now. i’ll try to finish this tomorrow.

actually, i think i’ll do a pablo and post this bit. might make it easier to finish. might not. we’ll see.

one day later.  seems i didn’t do that.  did i mention fatigue?  maybe now.  maybe.

September 25, 2007 Posted by | artnlifenstuff, las vegas, pancho | 2 Comments

maybe this’ll lure pablo back

right here in tree city.

cftreecity5377.jpg

or this natural bug in a tree.

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or me in front of a tree.

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not sure what’s w the right eye there, but i don’t feel evil. well, no more than usual.

August 9, 2007 Posted by | bug pics, las vegas, nature thingies | 8 Comments

well, i really dunno, ya know? no, no,

really.

cfpancho4795.jpg

just another rainy day in the desert. ok, not rainy rainy. in the past 2 days the rain i’ve experienced has prolly totaled about, oh, say, 37 drops. more or less. but they’ve been mostly fully cloudy days, with relative humidity ranging up to 50%. um, little more than, even. but this is coupled with temperature drops. didn’t even hit 100 today,and last night’s low was 76. hadn’t been that cold for well over a month. today was an amusing sequence of alternating hot and cool winds.

ooh, wait! it’s actually raining. like, everything outside is all wet and stuff. gotta go look at this for a minute. …ok, not all that exciting. just, kinda different. and cool that i don’t have massive pain and fatigue from the humidity and the lowered pressure. well, i do have massive pain and fatigue, (and diminished compositional skills), but all that’s been there all along. think i know why now. more on that later. sometime. soonish.

cfrain4806.jpg

cfrain4809.jpg

did i mention that i’m tired now? no? ok, i’m tired now. um, have to leave one of these though, right?

cfcicada4107.jpg

and to all a g’nitie. thingi.

July 24, 2007 Posted by | bug pics, las vegas, nature thingies, pancho, wildlife | 5 Comments