fluff

all over the place. just like life. pretty much.

functional stupidity

and all the related stuff. or, ya know, as much of it as we can remember and stay focused on long enough to, ahh, do whatever it is we seem to think we may be intending to maybe attempt to do here. visual hint clue thingi.

my right hand my left hand

crappy fotos, yes, but that’s relevant. goshgollydarnit, i’d like to put some organization on this, and give it some depth but all that’s not happening right now. so, we’re still rambling, barely scraping the surface.

the 7th grade functional stupidity was temporary. sort of. by december i was doing ok again with school work. but not as ok as before. it continued ok for a few years. somewhere in there, also, i realized that i no longer had the drawing and painting skills that had been there just a few years earlier. lack of communication between eye and hand maybe. or eye and brain. brain and hand? all of those and more?

and did i ever mention fatigue?

082407-001tbdfail.jpg082407-002tbdfail.jpg082407-003tbdfail.jpg

anyway, yeah, life went on. i prolly haven’t clearly explained functional stupidity. i prolly can’t. i don’t think you can understand it if you haven’t had it. and it’s not just the crisis periods, though those are highlights. lowlights. more easily recognized than the long spiral of decay that follows. so, i’m not gonna try explain. bad stuff happened in october of 1955.

same thing happened in october of 1959. the generally accepted term for the intellectual devastation part is cognitive difficulties. the generally acepted terms for the pain and fatigue are pain and fatigue. the general practice of medical professionals has been to deny the existence of any physiological problem and give it one psychological or psychiatric label or another. been thru enuf of those.

there are medical tests available. if one can get a medical professional to order them. finally won a couple of those battles last year. mri of brain and lumbar spine. some big clues in there, but not enuf time to try to deal w them in michigan, bein’ somewhat distracted w the big relocation n all. and, in october of 2006…well. i didn’t get dumber this time, but the fatigue and pain got really rough. i did a pretty good denial thing though, long enuf to get here.

ok, i haven’t established anything here, haven’t presented either evidence or anecdote to clearly show…well, anything. but that in itself speaks.

a’right, nuff unfocused blather. going for the focused blather now. i think you can see, in the hand fotos, what i was trying to do. three fingers straight up, thumb on pinky close to the palm. my difficulty with it isn’t from the arthritis. and the left hand wasn’t that bad til mid-may, when the left arm went numb for a week. most of it has improved,but the hand is still way weird.

so is life. overall, the medical care i’ve received here has been great. for reasons that don’t need exploring here, though, the testing and diagnosing process is not moving as fast as one might wish. that is expected to improve soon.

meantime, my primary care medical professional is in agreement that i have a systemic neurological disorder. whether this thing is ms, or just something that has all the same symptoms (including functional stupidity), will have to wait for testing.

anyway, this is not something to feel bad about. i’ve lived with it for half a century. without any kind of treatment. there are some good meds now that can slow the progress of ms. um,as there are for ra. gotta get back on those too.

i think my point here was just to explain why posts here are so rare. i want to do daily, but usually there isn’t energy, or mental clarity. or i just can’t see well enuf thru the double vision and blur. alll those things are fixable, recoverable. they might even all spontaneously self heal at any moment. so, we;ll get back to normal, or better, sometime. soonish, we hope.

on my emotional state, ’cause some people locally keep expressing concern.

083007-001tbdfail.jpg

my emotional state is fine. i’m prolly the least depressed person in the western hemisphere.

083007-000tbdfail.jpg 091107-000tbdfail.jpg

questions on detail or whatever on any of this are absolutely welcomed.

now i’m gonna go play w my pal pancho. stay cool, eh.

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September 30, 2007 - Posted by | artnlifenstuff, me

1 Comment »

  1. Dear Least Depressed Person In the West, very glad to hear it and also to read something of your history. But what matters is now and your golden lines on red background speak of hope and optimism. Have you heard of Jon Kabat-Zinn?
    http://store.soundstrue.com/zinnj.html
    I’ve only recently come across his name and watched a video on YouTube of him speaking.Go see it if you don’t already know this stuff. Probably you do.
    Buckets of good things for you.

    Comment by Natalie | October 5, 2007 | Reply


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