“I believe there is an important distinction to be made between religion and spirituality. Religion I take to be concerned with belief in the claims to salvation of one faith tradition or another–an aspect of which is acceptance of some form of meta-physical or philosophical reality, including perhaps an idea of heaven or hell. Connected with this are religious teachings or dogma, ritual, prayers and so on. Spirituality I take to be concerned with those qualities of the human spirit–such as love and compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, a sense of responsibility, a sense of harmony, which bring happiness to both self and others.”
– His Holiness the Dalai Lama
umm, I just copied the quote from the beliefnet buddhist daily, so I have no idea when or where the words were spoken or written. but I like it, I think it’s relevant to what w seem to think we may be intending to do here.
so, anyway, other people’s stuff seeming so good so far, I went here and brought back
I AM whole, I AM full of Light
I AM perfect, I AM full of Light
The Light surges into and through my blood
Making of it a fountain of Living Light
Bringing purity, vitality, youth and beauty
Into my being and body now.
My Father and I are One
I AM surrounded by the pure white Light of The Christ
Nothing but good can come to me
Nothing but good shall go from me.
I give thanks, I give thanks, I give thanks.
with which, it seems almost (almost) (seems like) like there’s nothing else/more to say/be said. but I’ll think of something. that’s my job. and I’ll post it here, soon as I know what it is. pretty much.
sweet pal o’ mine, for I have sinned. ‘course, like, who hasn’t, eh? name o’ the friggin’ game. but I do have a personal history that involves forgetting my place in the universe more often, thru more decades, than most reasonable folks can claim. each time, when focus returns, I’m a little ahead of, a bit more knowledgeable than when I got distracted. and I maintain for awhile, manage to follow this not all that rigorous religious-like path, reaping little rewards, celebrating those, until… until, you know, as ever, comes the distraction, and the desperate forgetting. usually has something to do with the coochie. usually. pretty much always. my god, the coochie told me so herself, once. and i proceeded to. of course.
not makin’ much, if any, sense so far, is it? would you like a visual of some sort break up the motionless ramble? me too.
above, yes, we’ve seen this before. still a bad foto. oh well. below, during the hot days of summer they spent much time up there in the shade (more shady than appears) gaily chirping between occasional mad passionate couples flight.
pretty sure I saw a fledgeling from one nest. once. tee(ee)ny tiny.
ok, this has prolly been sitting around as draft going nowhere for long enuf. you think? time to post it or toss it and move on to now. so…post. for whatever it’s worth. we’ll be back in a quick bit then, with something completely different pretty much the same, except… well, whatever, stay happy.
A – Age: 66/17
B – Bed size:queen
C – Chores you hate: don’t have chores, don’t mind responsibilities
D – Dad’s Name: joseph
E – Essential start to your day item:sunshine
F – Favorite actor(s): cork hubbert. he was better than anything you may have seen.
G – Gold or Silver: silver, or heavily coppered gold
H – Height: 5′ 8″ish.
I – Instruments you play(ed): guitar, piano, xaphoon, harmonica, banjo
J – Job title:boss
K – Kid(s):2
L – Living arrangements: apartment
M – Mom’s name: margaret
N – Nicknames:kimmi
O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth: too many, latest last month, next, next month
P – Pet peeve: whiners and wimps
Q – Quotes you like: “the harder you work, the luckier you get”
S – Siblings: reginald,ronald,roland,earl, la fleur. all halves
T – Time you wake up:varies wildly
U – Umbrella: in las vegas?
V – Vegetable you dislike: umm…no, apparently not
W – Ways you run late: i have a temporal pathology. healthy, i’m never late .
X – X-rays you’ve had: how many pages we got for this one?
Y-yummy foods you make: garlic chips
Z – Zodiac: scorpio. you must’ve known that
yeah, i know. i have a request in for that.
the tv is tuned to the mlb network. that’d be major league baseball, case you should happen to be, like, a foreigner, or somethin’. they just ran a little collection of film clips of players in great moments in the games history. of course there was a pete rose clip. well, there’d have to be.
ok, so he lied about gambling. big friggin’ deal. he never threw a game, or a run, or an out. he played baseball. real damn good. he is baseball. so, ok, he’s an asshole. so was ty cobb. and a few others.
as long as pete rose isn’t in the major league baseball hall of fame, the major league baseball hall of fame is meaningless. major league baseball hall o’ doggie poo. ‘sall there is to it.
course, yeah, he’s ugly too, there’s that. so was ty cobb. and a few others. but what i said, i said. so there ya go.
where were we? was i? at? sorry, i’m screwin’ up fast as i can. so ok, we kinda covered as far as the lumbar surgery.
081508…ooh, that was a way more difficult, painful, disabling experience than expected. judging by others who’d just had similar procedure though, either mine wasn’t so rough, or i’m better at handling pain. maybe deeper in denial. “pain don’t hurt”. kinda thing. i’m initially stuck w a roommate who can’t handle it at all. this comes to a head at 2am one morning when he starts yelling that he’s burning up because i turned off the ac. he also phones his wife and demands that she come rescue and take care of him. which she does, in about 30 minutes. she apologizes for turning off the ac, which she did before leaving, about 3 hours earlier. anyway, we got him securely moved to another room, and succeeding roommates were more sane individuals, w less, apparently, painful recovery situations. and after the first few days i can get around pretty much ok. pretty much. wheelchairs have that advantage. but i’m still learning to walk. it’s a bitch. and, um, remember that one (1) cigarette i was going to have after the surgery? one. had it. it was good. ahh, the second was even better. so. ok. i made it thru 7 months. as of this writing, i’m smoking 8 or 9 a day. less if i can actually figure out something else to do. and when they’re absolutely not available, i’m ok w that. 17 days in the rehab hospital. learned to walk again. and climb a few stairs. not too many. plus also, i got wheels.
112608…some days i use the walker. it’s pretty much necessary for any serious grocery shopping. some days i just use a cane, from my little self-semi-carved collection. only two falls so far. none into traffic. one close call on that. this day i did about a quarter mile with neither. just me, wobbling along. slowly.
112708…started serious packing for the move to a real apartment. lots of bending and lifting and twisting. not supposed to do those things. gotta though.
120108…moving day. more blt. fell twice, once with a framed photo (gift from my son)(um, you can buy stuff there too. i mean, in case you should maybe want to. he does good work, and he’s gonna be a star some day. more sooner than later.) anyway, and a bottle of cuervo in the other. so the strain that would have been eased by hands hitting the deck was all absorbed by knees and lower back. back to using the walker pretty much full time for a couple weeks. but my little apartment is nice. worth the pain.
hmm. i need to add some stuff from the laptop to the big external drive. whole huge bunch of images that aren’t on the desktop puter. prolly break time anyway. back soon. really. no, c’mon, trust me on this.
may be it’d be of interest to insert a bitty review/update on the whereabouts and whatof of the life of kim? oh. well, we’ll do it anyway. try. like…
011408…entered hospital, complications of pneumonia. and maybe other stuff. stayed 7 days. quit smoking. remained smoke free while living in a house that resembled less a home, more the drunk tank. noticed that many foods seemed less desirable. still excruciating pain preventing, most days, walks of more than a block or two. um, usually less. and not showing up here often with anything to say, or the ability to say it.
070108…awoke, on moving day, feeling not all that well. managed the move, though, to a more pleasant, more private situation, still smoke free, nearly drunk and druggie free. though not quite. continued pain issues. still feeling, through the month, not all that well. often unable to keep food down, resulting in late month trips to the er.
080108…or maybe the day before. not sure. but, what the previous post was intended to be about. more or less routine trip to my doctor’s office resulted in emergency trip to hospital, where the kidneys were quick pumped back into operating mode and the frequent hurl issue was apparently, if mysteriously, resolved.
080408…left hospital, returned home, to prepare for the soon to come, finally, spine surgery. i can eat and drink normally now. more or less. stuff stays down. but it’s less interesting. which is ok. there’s far too much of me already, what with years now of lack of effective exercise.
080808…the spine surgery. more than had been planned. the lower three vertabrae are now one, with also lots of cutting and scraping and rebuilding and four screws. medium sized. and pain. and strength and balance issues. ya know, i really had expected this would be an overnight in the hospital, then home. really. had. it became four nights, in bed. followed by two weeks and a few days in rehab hospital, learning to stand, walk, fall, get up again. way slow ordeal. lost 25 pounds of ugly fat though. mostly fat. in the first week.
022009…you wouldn’t wanna hear the words i’m thinkin’ right now. just lost half the words i’d managed to force out three days ago. so. here’s this. the fun part still lies ahead somewhere, even beyond what i’d completed. more later. maybe soon
that’s what saved my life.
knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door
becoming painfully routine
could use a little work. coudn’ most all of us ? but srsly tho… that glossed over and rapidly forgotten pneumonia episode in january? yeah, that one.
system breakdown. happens when you ignore that stuff for too long. so, i dunno xakly what was breakin’ down, and i’ve lost track of the discharge papers, but much of the first 2 days in the er room (band-aid shop, some might say) i was unsure whether i was alive or dead. it was a bizarre experience with truly grade a evil nurses and comic relief balding bespectacled impossibly pink-skinned med students from european countries where “th” and “w” sounds are unknown.
well, anyway, i quit smoking. been 6 months now, not a single urge. tho i kinda plan to smoke one after the spine surgery. one. yes, really. and i’ll enjoy it.
see how i’m avoidin’ sayin’ that it coulda killed me? it. it. not sure. smokin’? nah. pneumonia? umm. stubbornness? ignoring/forgetting it for 6 weeks ‘cos i thought i had other important things i had to do? ah, well, been there some.
but that was then. one time thingi, one creepin’ up on death every couple years, there’s some precedent for that. twice in six months? triflingly excessive.
um, i’m still kinda tired, and i need to be up and out early in the mornin’.
no shit, dude!!
course, i could look at this afternoon, that started as hell half-baked in a toaster-oven, yet blossomed into some of my most fun and productive hours (so far) this month, an’ ‘xplain it all away as “huge juevos conquers pain and dysfunction”. but god is more elegant. even tho my writing isn’t. ‘cept, ag’in, the fact that any writing is comin’ out o’ this … … brain-like-thing inside my head…
no, actually, i;ve never owned a toaster-oven, seen ‘em in action tho, scary. too scary. and as you’ll recall, i lived with brain-devouring zombies for a year. so, i’m jus’ sayin’, i know scary. way too well.
yes, the spaz seems to be better, too. that’s a big part of it.
no, i’m not. not strictly speaking.
the most fragile grasp and shallowest implementation of each.
in no particular order.
in case anyone ever wanted to know.
it is, after all, kinda what this space is all about. or, s’posed to be.
ok, corrections later, didn’t intend to ramble so.
just wanted to note, i’m still alive and bleating.
ok, not really all that fragile or shallow at all. really.